![]() “Whatever” is their weak way of trying to save some face. If a kid says, “whatever,” the odds are that the point has already been decided and you’re in charge of the situation. It’s backtalk that is a final attempt to anger you and to retaliate in some small way for something that your child doesn’t like. Kids generally say “whatever” to their parents when they’ve already lost the argument. But you won’t get your allowance until it’s done.” Or, “Well, that’s fine, but you can’t use the phone until it’s done.” Ineffective: “Okay, but make sure you get it done.”Įffective: “Well, that’s fine. Translation: If I put it off long enough, you’ll give up and I won’t have to do it. While many parents rationalize, “It’s easier if I just do it myself,” you need to understand that giving in to your child gives them a false sense of entitlement, a sense that “the world owes them something” and that they do not need to meet their responsibilities. One way children get around the rules of the household is to procrastinate and put their parents off until they eventually stop asking kids to help out. ![]() When kids act out, they aren’t always confrontational. In this article, we examine the most common backtalk that kids hurl at their parents when they act out, what they really mean, and how to respond to them in an effective way that puts the responsibility to behave appropriately where it should be: on the child. If you take those comments at face value-or take them to heart-you’ll always be on the defensive, constantly reacting to a child who’s out of control. If you’re unsure of what terminology to use in a given situation, deferring to gender-neutral language is typically (though not always) experienced as an inclusive effort.When kids act out, they have an arsenal of backtalk they fire at you in order to put you on the defensive-a secret language that’s designed to win them control and absolve them of responsibility. If someone doesn’t share their pronouns freely, you should respect their decision and avoid pressing the subject further. No matter your gender identity, it can be a good idea to introduce yourself to others with your name and pronouns. Some feel most affirmed and respected when only being referred to as their name. ![]() Some nonbinary people don’t use any pronouns at all.
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